- The following blog post contains scenes that are graphic in nature and may not be suitable for children. Reader discretion is advised
Tales From The Throne
The Return Of The Killer Kebab
After leaving Cappadocia, (Tales From The Throne – Part 1) transferring through Istanbul and arriving in Athens, I’ve been on edge.
Quick recap: After eating some shady kabob in Cappadocia I’ve been dealing with diarrhea and I can not seem to calm my stomach down.
I purchased some diarrhea pills from a pharmacy in the Istanbul airport and its sort of keeping everything at bay.
I went to the bathroom upon arriving in Athens, airport and again before jumping in a taxi. Now usually we would avoid taxi’s if at all possible in order to save a little money but with my stomach, at war with that kabob, I wasn’t taking any chances. The entire cab ride to the Airbnb accommodation I was hoping I won’t need a washroom and so far so good.
Final, we arrived at the accommodation. I made it! Now we just have to wait for our host.
And we are still waiting for our host.
Wait, why am I still waiting for our host?
Where is she?
I decided to use up the last bit of data from my previous countries sim card by checking our Airbnb messages only to discover that she left a message saying she was stuck in a meeting and running late. Normally I wouldn’t care if a host was running a bit late but today…I most definitely care. Every second felt like an hour and unfortunately the inevitable came.
I had to go.
Luckily, I knew this was bound to happen while waiting. So as we waited for our host I was scanning the streets to see what was around and noticed a pizzeria up the street. I made my way to the pizzeria and found the washroom.
Finally, our host Tatiana arrived. What felt like 2-3 hours was really like 15-30 minutes. She was an amazing host and a beautiful person. I’m still friends with her on Facebook today. We talked at length about traveling and life in Athens. Her Cute & Cozy apt., in the Heart of Athens, was just perfect. but before she left she wanted to quickly show us the apartment and explain the procedure for using the washroom.
Procedure? Pardon, what now?
She explained that after using the washroom you need to wipe yourself with the toilet paper then put it in the wastebasket.
Excuse me? Is that a joke?
Tatiana explained that the pipes in Athens are so small that toilet paper will clog the pipes and cause the toilet bowl to overflow.
Apparently, this is no joke.
“But newsflash, I have diarrhea and your asking me to do what now?” (I said to myself.) Obviously not a fan of this new procedure Tatiana left us with. We went out for a quick walk and stumbled across a pharmacy so I purchased more diarrhea pills.
Mountains & Molehills
On day one, I was doing a bit better, I wasn’t totally in the clear but I was using the washroom a bit less. As we explored the city I kept mental notes of where the nearest washrooms where should I need to double back. This worked out fine and when I needed to use a washroom I was able to find one.
But let me tell you, Tatiana wasn’t lying. Every washroom in Athens had a wastebasket with a lid beside the toilet bowl.
By day two, I was definitely using the washroom less, so we decided to take a chance and head up to St. George Church on the top of Mount Lycabettus which overlooks the Acropolis. After some stunning pictures, we rode the funicular back to its starting point and made our way back down the rest of the hill. That’s when nature decided to call and leave me a message informing me that the killer kabob is trying to make a comeback.
Shit (pun intended).
We are in the middle of a residential area. Quickly I scanned for a cafe and noticed a restaurant down the street. We raced over there and saw a big closed sign.
Damn you and your siesta hours, now I really need to go.
I looked down another street and saw a park with a little bushy area. I looked at Gordana and she looked at me and we both knew instantly what I needed to do.
I entered the park, in the middle of the residential area and crawled through to the middle of the bushes.
Nervously, I squatted and went to the washroom. Goga (Gordana), reassured me that she was keeping a lookout.
Reassured? I felt not. I mean, if someone comes strolling through the park, what is she really going do and how am I really going to just stop? As Murphy’s Law would have it, two old ladies came strolling by talking and walking really…really…really slow. And if that wasn’t bad enough they decided to stop and talk, literally a few meters from where I was violating their beloved park.
I held my position.
Finally, they decided to continue their walking and talking. I cleaned up and flew out of the bush…
- Things can get messy. Always carry baby wipes, kleenex, hand sanitizer and hand cream. I literally just bought my satchel when I was in Istanbul (prior to Athens) and knowing that I wasn’t 100% in the clear I made sure it was stocked with everything I needed for any washroom emergencies.
- Also when you gotta go, you gotta go…
Visit my post What To Do In Athens In 2 Days for some great Itinerary ideas for your Athens trip.
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Using the latest travel apps, technology, and gear, I take a city; see the sights, taste the food, smell the roses, hear the stories and feel the love. All in 48 hours. Then, using videography & editing, photography and writing I retell and share those stories with my readers and viewers.
I'm Christopher Rudder and welcome to Rudderless Travel.
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